For better or for worse, summer is here again and fat people everywhere are feeling the heat to become beach body ready or, worse, cover themselves from head to toe in the sweltering heat. And yet, I still love summer. It feels like a challenge to give a massive middle finger to the fat-phobes. But, this love has only come with a growing in age and confidence.
I remember my mad summer before university, you know the one where you just have a blow out in your hometown because it won’t matter in September? Yeah. That one. I was just shy of my eighteenth birthday, swanning around in size-12 bikinis and having the time of my life. And yet one STUPID boy had the AUDACITY to tell a friend that I was “Good in bed, for a fat girl”.
I’ve never stopped thinking about that comment. Not in a way that has made me insecure or upset. Just obsessed with the preconceptions that the average person has about what having sex with a fat person is like. Although it is a bit agonising that a size-12 seventeen year old would be considered fat by anyone. Nevertheless, let’s crack into some of the myths that circulate surrounding fat sex and set it straight once and for all*.
FAT GIRLS GIVE BETTER HEAD
This is one that I’ve heard perpetuated (by cis men) my entire life. There is a large misconception that fat people are more eager to participate in any sexual act for their sheer gratefulness to have been chosen. Blessed be! We are so lucky to be in your presence, on thin-one! I can’t deny the benefits an eager partner, but I promise that eagerness usually comes from being a horny b*tch rather than thankfulness. Obvs.
FAT PEOPLE WILL HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE
Looooooooool. This one is constantly reinforced by the media that we consume every day *cough* Monica from Friends *cough*. Fat people in television, film and novels are represented as desperate for affection from others, and are usually squeezed into the sidekick role that renders them the side-piece in their own life *insert literally any film ever*. This attitude goes behind closed doors and into our cultural imaginations about sex. This type of representation is a model to repress and control those who refuse to conform to social norms. So, no, fat people aren’t easy because they’re fat. Whilst we’re at it, let's drop the word “easy”; sex shaming is as disgusting as fat shaming.
FAT PEOPLE DON’T LOOK GOOD NAKED
In this Capitalist-driven, technological porn-scape that we currently inhabit, no body is left un-sexualised. If you can think about it, there’s a Pornhub entry for it. Without getting too deep into the ethical sketchiness of pornography and the commodification of people’s bodies, what I’m trying to say is that fat people are as subject to hyper-sexualisation as thin people. Outside of the oppressive parameters of porn, Instagram (for all its flaws) does offer a platform for fat people to express and exhibit their sexuality (Within limits, nipples and sex-workers are still banned. Thanks a lot Zuckerberg). Just have a quick search for some plus-size sex appeal.
FAT PEOPLE CAN’T TOP OR GO ON TOP
Fat people are often considered bottoms or subs because of the passive, subordinate stereotypes that the media shoves down our throats. Pun intended. Tbh gals, if he dies? He dies.
* I am speaking from the perspective of a cis, able-bodied woman and can’t account for the lived sexual experiences of people who aren’t me. Pls get in touch with Neon Moon if you can offer these important viewpoints!
Hiya! I’m Daisy, a part-time postgrad student and full-time hustler. I write about gender, sexuality and culture and can usually be found eating brunch or enjoying bevs in Manchester. Slide into my DM’s (@daisy0brien) for collabs and/or banter (I take 5-7 working days to reply to any messages) x