Why the lingerie industry really gets on my tits

Posted on 16 May 2015

Have you ever had that moment, where you think ‘My god I need a lingerie update – stat!’ – that feeling that you have now unwillingly entered yourself into the biggest national treasure hunt / carboot sale search that you just cannot be bothered to do?

Yeah we’ve all been there. Bobbly bras and a design update is just needed – screaming it’s just that time to get back on the lingerie search rollercoaster. But where to go, and what size? Personally, being young and relatively introverted, pacing the highstreet looking at ghastly prints, sexualised garments, male-enticed shapes and crotchless hoo-has glaring at me from a mile off is not my idea of fun. ‘But you’re single – why are you going lingerie shopping?’ is by far one of the most annoying questions I’ve ever received.

Having been fitted for my very first bra in a changing room, in a highstreet store, by a woman I can distinctly remember having cold clammy hands has not exactly left me thrilled about my next fitting. To add to the mix, I wouldn’t wear mesh, cut out, crotchless, ribbon, nor anything that I felt would exploit my body, in turn making me feel more uncomfortable than ever. I was also pretty intimidated by the images of the perfectly formed models the store. Boobs pushed not only together, but upwards??! I was confused as to why I needed to do this.

My growing body had left my boobs big one day, and smaller the next – it was a voyage of discovery that was laced by an industry I couldn’t and still haven’t affiliated with. I am an advocate for flattering shapes to each woman’s body – not contorting it in products that just don’t leave you with high long-term self-esteem, empowered, loved and adored for your body that no one else has except for you. Instead, all we have are a barrage of sexualised images, shapes and prints, wanting you to conform yourself to their products – which I’ve always thought was a dangerous concept to promote to the ever-evolving shape of a woman.

I sometimes look towards the future and question “Is this the world I want my future daughter to live in?”. It leaves me angrily perplexed at how the lingerie industry is so out of touch with the modern woman, and is so brazenly unapologetic. The image of the sultry seductress in lingerie isn't one I personally identify with. It comes with a lot of pressure to be that sexy all the time, to be a pornstar in the bedroom, to always be sexually active, and to be the epitome of the male fantasy. When quite honestly, as a girl I felt gross during my periods, I couldn’t care less about what boys wanted because it just wasn’t going to happen, my nether-region was not an etch-a-sketch to shave shapes out of, and my lingerie has never been for male enticement. This is why I created Neon Moon, and finally I can affiliate with my own lingerie brand that does not intend to pressure, sexualise or objectify.

You are you. Love yourself. Love your body. Remain true to who you are, and not what society dictates girls and women should be like. Because I know, when I am an old old woman, looking back on my life and reminiscing about what was true to me – I will never regret the fact that I held my self-worth in my own hands and no-one else’s. And there is strength in that.

What do you think about the lingerie industry? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below! 

Neon Moon Models

P.S. You can buy all of our lovely Neon Moon lingerie here:

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4 comments

  • Karen: February 29, 2016

    I gave up with bras before I found your site. I’m sexy, happy, fine just as I am and don’t want to be moulded and accentuated thanks very much! Luckily I’m pretty small breasted and only need bras for white t shirts and clingy clothes as I don’t want to feel self- conscious. Totally agree with blog and comments. I hope that Vic’s Secrets type stuff will be pretty outdated soon: it’s so narrow, so unreal and so ultimately demeaning to everyone.

  • HJ: February 28, 2016

    I don’t tend to see the issue of ‘male enticement’ to be my primary fault with lingerie. Most lingerie is made cheaply out of low quality fabric in sweatshop conditions. Lingerie is the least recyclable of garments once it has worn through and it can get expensive to buy as I am in the plus size/larger bust demographic. Ethics and sizing bug me. Whether something looks traditionally feminine is not on my radar of social injustices.

    I wear a range of lingerie depending on whether my day calls for a running bra or a pair of beautiful knickers; I read through this wondering why the writer takes the judgy tone on the latter kind of lingerie. There is nothing wrong with wearing impractical lingerie if that is what a person wants. The drag and other non binary sexual movements make use of lingerie and it’s history has developed with gender roles. A pair of lace knickers are just an object. On their own they are not anti feminist. The knickers are defined by the wearer and their reasons for choosing them. It is not anti feminist to like wearing lingerie or seducing someone in it. Whether I am in a sports bra or suspenders, I am the same person with my own dignity and self respect.

    I like comfortable, well made, ethically sourced lingerie and my choices are often driven by not having a huge budget. I would love to see better tailored undies in a range of sizes that offer confort. I really enjoy feminine clothing, sexual pleasure and what a nice set of undies provokes in my man, who never objectifies me.

    I think this blog falls prey to the common neo feminist issue of assuming anything that is sexual is oppressive. Which us a real shame because that is a very regressive stance to take and it puts people off feminism because they think it is about forswearing cute knickers when it really doesn’t have to be.

  • Roshika: January 03, 2016

    One of the challenges I face nowdays when shopping for bras is I cannot find one without padding! Its annoying that we are made to feel that our breasts are not “big enough” and that we should be always making some attempt to appeal to the male gaze! The current mainstream porn industry, the over-sexualisation and objectification of girls/women have put also a lot of pressure on women to attain big breasts. And leads boys and men to think that women are only attractive and “normal” if they have big breasts!

  • rob: September 02, 2015

    I think your absolutely right, we have an industry driving what we want, and that’s not right, same with the food, look at tescos and there stance with chickens, bloody imoral and decided upon by, I’d hastard a guess, by men, stupid fat businessmen who haven’t got a clue about anything except there banks accounts and manipulating public opinion, its the framework we as ppl find ourselves in, its got to change and will do by determination and ppl like yourselves, I don’t want to see them pushed together and up either, I’m a man and I think that its all got out of control, “what men want” who gives a fuck, what do you want ? And it’s a shame we (men) get grouped together and its not our fault either, I love women, there shapes, sizes, curves, there selves, I’m genetically programmed to look, however much intellectualising I do about it, and its that that the controling nerds play into, our human unevolvedness, its sick and removes choice and independant thinking….no wonder terms like ‘sheeple’ exist…..ok getting back in my hole now… Ps I think your lovely models look great, normal in fact and real….

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